Monologue of a “Household” Tool

This assignment is worth 4.5 stars and the instructions can be found here.

I am the “household” tool that Billy Steel loves the most. I put household in quotes because I don’t think the average person would consider me an everyday item. Anyway, I am very involved in Billy’s life. He is always carrying me around, just about wherever he goes. Sometimes he conceals me under his jacket, other times he holds me out in the open. I suppose I can be pretty intimidating. Dangerous, too, if you give me ammunition. I mean figuratively of course. Or do I.. Anyway, I am rather bulky, but at the same time short and stout. I also have a handle, and a spout.If you see me in Billy’s hands, you’re going to want to walk the other way.

I wish Billy would take better care of me. I usually just get manhandled. He doesn’t seem to appreciate me for the valuable piece of equipment that I am. After all, it is I who always has to do the dirty work. Trust me, I do not enjoy it. Unfortunately, it’s in my nature- it’s what I was made for. I definitely feel like Billy overuses me though. You would be horrified if you knew how much work I’ve gotten in the past month alone. Sometimes I’m not even used the way I’m supposed to be. Whatever it takes to get the job done, I guess. I’ve definitely seen some things you should hope you never have to see. Can you guess what I am?

The Future Life of Billy Steel

The last assignment I did this week was called “Tell Us About Your Future Life” for 3 stars. The instructions can be found here. For this assignment I actually told the story of the future life of my character, Billy Steel.

Here’s what you know about Billy already: he was born in 1905 and lives in a bad neighborhood in Detroit. He works on the assembly line at Ford, and has a wife Jackie who hates his guts because he frequently cheats on her, and his only son was kidnapped and murdered at the age of 6. Steel is an alcoholic vigilante of sorts who targets gang members to get revenge for his son’s murder. On the recent radio show that aired, NOIR Not The Father, it was revealed that Jackie had been murdered by Billy out of jealousy and contempt, as he suspected her of having affairs of her own.

After the show, Billy escaped from police custody with the help of crime scene cleaner Blair Morgan. Blair had been a huge flirt ever since she drowned her husband in their pool, and she and Billy ended up having an affair during the production of NOIR Not The Father. When it was determined that Billy was the culprit in his wife’s murder, Blair couldn’t sit by and watch her lover be taken away for life. So she helped him escape. Unfortunately for her, Billy immediately ditched her and fled to Indianapolis to live in hiding.

In Indianapolis Steel tried to turn over a new leaf. He didn’t completely abandon his vigilante lifestyle, but he did try to work more in cooperation with the local cops; without their knowing it, of course. He also tried to cut down on his drinking, but everyday was a struggle. That’s the future life of Billy Steel, until……… you’re going to have to stay tuned to find out!!!!

Visuals of Storytelling

This week we are delving into photography in noir 106, so it’s time for me to reflect on my own experience with photography. I don’t take that many photos currently except in special circumstances. If I am on a big vacation, or some kind of interesting trip I will try to take some photos in order to have some memories of that experience. I will always try to get at least one Instagram-worthy shot to share the experience with my followers. In my daily life, however, the only photos I really take are snapchats. I take snaps often, either to send to my friends, or to share with all of my contacts on my story. I do this whenever there is something interesting/comical/beautiful that I think my friends would like to see. When I take these photos I try to capture the moment as best I can. I often use the selfie technique. When I take selfies I always try to convey a particular feeling or emotion, usually through my facial expression, the lighting, the background, etc. I will also take snaps just of my surroundings if I think they will interest people. In these types of photos I try to make my environment look as good as possible. I figure that I do this with average success, as I am not much of a pro at photography, and I only use my smartphone to take pictures instead of a high quality camera.

After reading up some on photography, I think that there are two things in particular that I can do to make my photos better right off the bat. The first thing is to look for more contrast or juxtaposition in the subjects of my photos. This will make the pictures really stand out more and grab your attention. The second thing is to take the photos from new, different perspectives. In this way, I can really get a unique view of the world. I think my snapchats will definitely improve with the knowledge I have gained.

‘Potentially Historic’ Accuracy of ‘Potentially Historic’ Snowstorm Prediction Possible- The Onion’d Article

Meteorologists from across the country are in a flurry after the realization of the ‘Potentially Historic’ Accuracy of the ‘Potentially Historic’ Snowstorm that has been vaguely predicted to hit “somewhere in the Northeast” at “somepoint this week” and dump “some significant amount of snow.” Weathermen originally predicted that we could possibly see somewhere between 6 and 78 inches of snow in some parts of the country this week all as part of a single storm. “We’re going to call it a blizzard,” exclaimed one excited weatherman, who apparently is unaware that that word has been in existence for hundreds of years.

Excitement only heightened in the land of meteorology this morning when areas in the Northeast reported seeing clouds in the sky, and observing temperatures below 32 degrees. “It’s tough to put it into words, what the last 24 hours has been like,” a weatherman from Trenton, NJ told our reporters. “The idea of actually making a prediction about the weather, however vague, and to have that prediction actually come to fruition, well, that’s the kind of stuff you can only dream about.”

We will see if this alleged “blizzard” actually comes to pass, or if all of the overhyping will be for nothing. I am told that one meteorologist in Massachusetts got so beside himself that he actually tried to explain to his coworkers about a specific county whose snowfall amount he thought he could pinpoint to within 12 inches. That man was immediately fired. As for us, we’re rooting for meteorologists everywhere.

Here’s the real article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/wp/2015/01/25/potentially-historic-snow-storm-takes-aim-at-northeast-this-week/?hpid=z1

The Shadow Alternate Ending

SHADOW: Dubrille is dead, Dr. Evans.

EVANS: Is? Corvet’s kept his word. Where is he?

SHADOW: Look there, on the floor by the window.

EVANS: Corvet? That’s Corvet?

SHADOW: Dubrille tried to save his life by promising to help that man kill you.

EVANS: Dubrille? Dubrille offered to help Corvet kill me?

SHADOW: Yes. And I sense this isn’t the end of the danger either.

EVANS: He’s alive- barely. Still breathing.

CORVET: Get away from me Evans. I hate you. You would have let me starve to death on that boat, and so I would have let you die by the work of my own hands. Pity I didn’t get the chance. But you see what I did to Dubrille here. Soon you will meet a similar fate. I may be gone, but my work will be finished. Would you like to know how Evans? Or would you like to be surprised? Hahahaha (laughter turns into gasps, as finally death envelops Corvet)

EVANS: What does he mean?

SHADOW: What happened to Martan?

EVANS: I’m not sure. I lost track of him.

SHADOW: Yes, I’m afraid we’re not out of the woods yet Dr. Evans. We need to get you some place safe.


Twitter Trends Turned Lyrical Poetry- “Chain Saw”

Trends 1 Trends 2

Here is my poem about the character I created, Billy “Saw” Steel, using the hottest Twitter Trends. It is called “Chain Saw”


If Billy Steel was an #NHLAllStar

It would be for his fists.

He’s tough as nails, and

He’d knock out Oliver Twist.


His family life’s a mess

Kid didn’t live to be a teen

His fights with his wife

Comparable to the #blizzardof2015


In the streets of Detroit

No one stands in his way

Not even JB or 1D

If it happened that way.


With his beloved shotgun

He keeps the gangs humble

Because they know he’d win

If it came to a Royal Rumble.


Billy “Saw” Steel- Character Dossier

Saw was born in 1905 in Detroit, which remains his home. Though small in stature, Saw packs a mean punch. Standing 5’6 160 lbs, it’s hard to believe that he is strong as an ox. He has short jet-black hair and a clean shaven face, which is always accompanied by a mean glare. His clothes are old, and a couple sizes too big. Poking out of his long sleeves are hands as big as saucers, completely disproportionate to his small stature, that could crush a pidgeon between them with ease.

Saw lives in a small apartment in a dirty complex in the middle of the worst of neighborhoods, with his wife Jackie. Bullied as a kid, Saw has a big chip on his shoulder, and a mean personality. It doesn’t help that his and Jackie’s only son was kidnapped and brutally murdered by a local gang at the age of 6. He struggles with alcoholism, as does Jackie, and their relationship has deteriorated to the point that Saw occasionally seeks the company of prostitutes. He works on the assembly line at the Ford Motor Company factory, but he essentially devotes himself to waging a one-man war on the vicious gangs that run the surrounding neighborhoods. He has laid waste to dozens of cold, evil gang members with his sawed-off shotgun, from which he gets his nickname. To this point, the gangs have yet to discover his true identity. A dark, vengeful man, Saw lives by the motto cheaters should be cheated, liars should be lied to, and killers should be killed.

Noir Readings

Just got finished with some noir readings. Here’s my thoughts:

The Postman Always Rings Twice

This novel struck me as exceptionally dark and somewhat erotic. Frank and Cora’s views on life, love and death were equal parts straightforward and twisted, and their actions were always fueled seemingly by passion alone. I thought of this reading as sort of a darker version of The Great Gatsby in a few senses: both featured passionate love to which marriage was the barrier. Also, to bluntly but accurately compare their endings, multiple people ended up dead, and nobody ended up happy.

The Shadow

I really enjoyed the twist at the end of this story when it turned out to be Martan who was set on killing Dubrille. I was not surprised by Dubrille’s two faced ways, however, as the Shadow and Dr. Evans seemed to be the only good-intentioned characters. I was especially intrigued by the Shadow’s cleverness and powers of deception and invisibility. Although his identity was revealed to be that of Lamont Cranston, acquaintance of Margot, he appeared to have abilities beyond the scope of a normal person.


The Killers

I found this reading to be somewhat anticlimactic. There was a long build-up to what I was sure was going to be a murder, but then the assassins left when Ole Anderson didn’t show up. I found it odd that there was not more of a reaction from Anderson when Nick told him that he was the target of a murder. Finally, the story was never really resolved, as it ended without the audience knowing whether Max and Al succeeded in murdering Ole Anderson.

Dopamine Agonistes from Shenandoah Literary

This reading had a decidedly different flavor than the others. There were no murders or attempted murders, but rather a sad snapshot into the life of a man newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Lorne, the main character, contemplates suicide, has an extramarital affair in a casino bathroom, and almost gets himself in trouble for kidnapping. While different from the other readings I did, this story was just as dark and definitely the most depressing one I read.